As part of my benefits package with Adobe, I got an eTrade account to manage options. Upon leaving Adobe, I converted that to a standard individual eTrade account, which has held my exercised Adobe options as well as other stock investments and occasionally cash.
For complicated reasons, there came a time when it was prudent to change the account to a joint account. Eventually, it was prudent to change it back to an individual account. Here's where the fun started.
To change back to an individual account, eTrade asked for a filled out application (for the individual account), the current account number, and a notarized letter from the individual who was giving up the account. We sent them all that.
About six weeks later, imagine my surprise when I continue to see the joint account name appear on the website screen (we were on the road for about five weeks or I would have found out sooner). I call eTrade.
They tell me that, according to Federal Law, they cannot open an account without the "Getting To Know You" investor information, which includes a purpose for the account, investor knowledge, and net worth. Every broker I deal with asks for this information, and every broker I deal with deals with the fact that I won't give it to them. But not eTrade. After a long and fruitless call, which includes them not letting me speak to a supervisor, I give them meaningless information to fill the checkboxes and they promise to have the account changed in no more than two or three days.
Four days later, the account is not changed. I call back. This time, I am armed with the information I got from the SEC web site (sorry, Safari crashed and I don't have the URL) informing me that: 1) the GTKY information is not required by Federal law (they are required to ask for it, but you are not required to provide it); and 2) the GTKY information is only for the purposes of recommending investments to you. Since eTrade does not recommend investments to me (at least they never have), they are not required by Federal law to ask for the GTKY information. The phone drone on the other end admits (after several attempts to avoid the question) that it is not Federal law that requires them to have the information but their own internal policy, even though they inform people that it is Federal law. When I point out that is a lie he prefers to call it "a mistake".
By this point I am frustrated. They say that they still don't have a business address and therefore they have not changed the account. I point out that I was told the only information missing was the GTKY information and they were provided with that information. He says that there is a note on the account that they need a business address. I say nobody told me that, and that I should not be responsible for their delay if they don't inform me of their needs. I tell him to use the personal address (duh!). They will "expedite" the account change. Can they get a check out today? Nope. Tomorrow? Nope. After talking to his supervisor (who won't talk to me — smart person), he allows how they will, out of the goodness of their heart, overnight a check on Monday without charging me.
If that check is not here on Tuesday, I am going to rip someone at eTrade a new orifice and then take my money and go somewhere else.
I'm frankly tempted to go somewhere else anyway.
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